Posted by: truthlover5 | December 7, 2012

Profile of a Narcissistic Sociopath – Charming, Manipulative, Grandiose, Lying, Authoritarian, Secretive, Divisive…

Profile of the Narcissistic Sociopath

Think you can spot a sociopath/psychopath? Think again.

According to experts, this behavior affects 3% to 5% of the population, which could mean more than15 million people in the USA with these characteristics, or up to 1 in 20 people – higher percentages than one might realize.

Sociopath-imageIn general, psychopaths come from all walks of life. They’re our friends, lovers, co-workers and leaders. They’re outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery.  Knowing the profile characteristics might help you to avoid being scammed or hurt by someone you trust. Or, you might already be in a situation and are confused by the others behavior.  Be aware of the characteristics.  Be smart.

What is a narcissistic sociopath?
  • A narcissistic sociopath is someone with a combination of narcissistic personality disorder and definitive behavioral signs of sociopathy.
  • People with narcissism are characterized by their excessive and persistent need for others’ admiration and positive reinforcement. They generally have grandiose opinions of themselves and believe they are superior to other people. Narcissists are also frequently convinced that they are above the normal responsibilities and obligations of everyday life, so they usually have significant difficulties maintaining employment or relationships as a result.
  • The narcissistic sociopath has this type of personality along with a noticeable lack of regard for the rights of others and a tendency to regularly violate those rights.

One noted difference between a narcissistic sociopath and people with narcissism alone is that:

  • The narcissist with the sociopathy reacts strongly and sometimes even violently to negative feedback. True sociopaths generally do not respond to criticism or care what others may think of them.
  • A narcissistic sociopath is unable to tolerate criticism and needs constant praise, as well as deference from other people. Many with this condition present themselves in the best light possible and are able to easily charm others to gain their trust.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-narcissistic-sociopath.htm

THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:  These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable.  To recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind:

(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.

(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.

(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else’s fault.

(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.

(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.

For more and for update from http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Profile of the Sociopath

This information is copied from the website http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

  • Glibness and Superficial Charm
  • Manipulative and Cunning
    They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  • Grandiose Sense of Self
    Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”
  • May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
  • Pathological Lying
    Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  • Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  • A Sociopath is always “pitting” people against each other. My Sociopath
  • Smear Campaign:  A Sociopath will always be smearing someone and inciting people against each other.  Sociopaths do not want people to like or get along with each other and will try to “divide and conquer.”  They will say odd things to people in the social group: “She doesn’t like you” or “She doesn’t want me doing anything with you.” My Sociopath
  • Sociopath has a strange network of Support People ranging from “consultants,” to skilled-workers, to enabling co-dependents that back him up when he wants to go after his Target. Most of the Support People have their own Psychological problems. My Sociopath. 
  • No conscience. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt.
  • Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  • The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  • Shallow Emotions
    When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  • Incapable of real human attachment to another
  • Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
  • Authoritarian
  • Secretive
  • Paranoid
  • Drama King:  There is always conflict going on in a Sociopath’s life and it involves a “bad person,” “bad business” or “bad transaction.” My Sociopath. 
  • Callousness/Lack of Empathy

For complete list: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Inside the Mind of a Sociopath: 

Excerpt from: “The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless vs. the Rest of Us” by Martha Stout Ph.D.

“Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern of the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members.  Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken.  And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools.  Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs.  Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless.  You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodlessness.  The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.”

…or – maybe, best of all – (you) create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves.  And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way.  Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable.  This is not only good fun; it is existential vengeance.  And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do.”

“Provided you are not forcibly stopped, you can do anything at all If you are born at the right time, with some access to family fortune, and you have a special talent for whipping up other people’s hatred and sense of deprivation, you can arrange to kill large numbers of unsuspecting people.  With enough money, you can accomplish this from far away, and you can sit back safely and watch in satisfaction.  In fact, terrorism (done from a distance) is the ideal occupation for a person who is possessed of blood lust and no conscience, because if you do it just right, you may be able to make a whole nation jump.  And if that is not power, what is?”

Complete Article…

Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate)

There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change themselves, which is a prerequisite.

Over time, she says, “their appearance of perfection will begin to crack,” but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed.

Taken in part from MW — By Caroline Konrad — September 1999



Responses

  1. [...] Profile of a Narcissistic Sociopath – Charming, Manipulative … – truth [...]

  2. That sure fits Obama to a T. He is a drama king and only cares about his agenda. The terrorists don’t seem too be on his agenda, neither does job’s only bigger government. He wants total control at any cost.

    • I would call the little o hole a drama ”queen” myself !!!!!

  3. OH MY, it’s been 7 years for me, seven years of a living hell and I was so in love and so understanding that it blinded me from what my partner actually was.
    I had made notes on my calendar throughout the years every time something happened, and only until now have I understood what I was going through. It’s a very sad situation when you realize you have wasted years of your life and have shed so many tears & depression over a person who basically just uses you & manipulates your heart, your mind and your life – for nothing but the fact that they have no conscience and they truly do have a psychological problem they cannot fix. Sadly they do not realize how much they hurt others, and that part alone is the scariest thought because they will continue their lives doing this to other pour souls who cross their path.

    I’ve been through it all:

    – lies about his home life, stated he was ‘separated’ only a year later did I find out he was married still living with his wife
    – lied about his job which was non-existant
    – flirted with friends/strangers alike to the point of starting orgies
    – problems with strangers, as he is very blunt and does not care what he says to people
    – problems with police officers, throwing water bottles, hot dogs, whatever he has in his hands after the bar and starts trouble
    – always centre of attention, the joker, the one who goes on stage and entertains everyone
    – very high sex drive / attractive man
    – promiscuous nature, finding out months sometimes a year later of girls he met online/bar which he had one night stands with or a relationship with
    – loving, kind towards me but within a week or two always dealt with verbal abuse over one issue or other which he caused
    – blamed me for problems which arised due to his own actions
    – never met his close friends or buddies or family members to see his other life (he always kept his personal life separate, there was always one reason or another of why it wasn’t possible over the years)
    – puts people against you, alienates you from your family and friends until all you have is him
    – drinking problem, alcohol which made him grab women in bars (breasts, bottom etc) in front of me caught when I wasn’t looking or when he thought i wasn’t around, and there were many times it was done in front of my face & I was told it was just ‘fun’ and drunkeness that made him do it
    – as much as i have a good heart, am shy, very attractive as a woman, it did not matter to him to lie in my face and have no empathy that he was hurting me with other women
    – there were times i had proof of his lies and I wouldn’t let him know what I knew & I watched him casually tell me otherwise like it was second nature, it hurt to see this knowing the truth
    – always stated he was in love with me and wanted to marry me, but constantly cheated and lied nonetheless out of just pure thrill, I believe they unknowingly get some type of high from this to others, the lying & cheating is exciting
    – very intelligent, yet uses this to their advantage to manipulate others

    My last day was two weeks ago, I waited on him all day for a ‘weekend’ he supposedly wanted to spend with me..
    Friday night excuse was he forgot about a friends husband’s birthday party (i wasn’t able to go as i live an hour away) I later found out he was at a bbq party with friends and women he had associations with.
    Saturday comes along, I received many excuses in the morning as to why I was unable to join him at an ‘antique show’ due to him going early at 8am with family, he ended up not going at all as I later found out he as at this party from the night before and was still enjoying the festivities the next day and was lying to me all along.
    I spend the day cleaning my home, changing my sheets, buying groceries for our weekend, buying his favorite wine.. he finally showed up at 7:30pm, said he was tired and wanted to stay in, he wanted to sit in the car when I sat in to let me know of his day while we were parked, I stated I did not want to sit in a hot car to listen to him tell me about his day, I suggested we could go to a book store if he was tired, sit and have a coffee and he can tell me of his day and then we can go home and hang in if he was tired.
    I was stuck most of my day indoors, waiting on him and doing things for us in preparation, it wasn’t too much to ask to step out.
    Mind you at this time I had already known where he spend Friday night and most of Saturday and I was sad, and because I loved him so much I didn’t bring it up not to upset him.
    Well, as we are driving within 10min he gets angry because he wants to tell me about his day (his lies, not the truth).. I had expressed to him only that I would have liked to join him at the antique show Saturday morning ( I had asked the night prior but he said he was tired and wanted to go to bed) in the morning he just ignored what I said & left without me.. keep in mind you I said this calmly, lovingly and politely, as I do not like seeing his anger. Well within 10min into our ride, after me stating only that I would have liked to join him and wished he would have planned it with me – HE BLOWS UP, starts to get upset hitting & banging at the steering wheel yelling and screaming at me of how much stress he has coming from all angles (as he lives with his parents and has a daughter from previous marriage that only lasted 2yrs) as he is doing this acting like a psychotic maniac, he utters ‘im turning around and going home, i had enough of this sh#t’ WOW

    For the first time, I snapped, I don’t know what happened, with his yelling and telling me he was going home after the day I had I immediately opened the car door as he was driving along the lakeshore, I wanted to get out.

    I have never done that before or acted that way the mere shock of what he had done and how he was treating me in my face, knowing full well he is lying to me, was something I will never forget.

    He was in the center lane and he pulled over within a minute and watched me get out. Now, I know he is lying as I received photo proof of where he was and with whom, he knows he is lying but doesn’t realize I know, and yet he still treated me that way? UNBELIEVABLE

    It took me a little over a half hour to get home walking. Not once did he try to stop me from getting out of the car, he didnt come looking for me, but he did text me in capital letters how I could have caused an accident (we were barely going 20km at the time), and how I could have ruined his career (which he does not have, he is still going to college, his 3rd attempt, failing some courses already) but this is how narcissistic sociopaths are.. this is what they do, this is how they treat you and it was not the first time.

    Sadly this happened once before after waiting on him most of the day, preparing for his arrival, he never showed up & cancelled on me using the excuse that I didn’t want to drive half way and meet him..

    I never responded to any of his texts after he made me walk home in the cold that night, I felt worthless, I realized I had been fooled for 6 years.I was numb on my walk home in disbelief that this has been my life

    He has sent me angry emails and texts since this happened, it’s been 2 weeks – I have not responded to any (as he enjoys the blame game and arguing to the point where he wont make you sleep for a week just from you trying to wrap your brain around all the harsh words and put downs he throws at you).

    I always forgave him, for many many things he has done to me, in front of me and behind my back..

    I guess it took for me to watch him lie to me for days knowing the truth, and it crushed me and devastated me to watch him do this to my face and not have a care in the world of how he was deceiving me and lying to me. It took this last time for me to actually realize the relationship was all a lie – I was faithful and loving and in it wholeheartedly, he wasn’t.

    As hard as it is, and has been, I have not contacted him, I have changed my number and I am having a difficult time because throughout the years he has alienated me from my family and my friends. I am alone more than ever, but I had to do this, my life, my self esteem, my self worth is all gone.

    Sadly, the peace and solace I feel not reading or hearing his harsh words towards me, degrading me & not listening to the constant lies & stories, not being manipulated any longer, and not spending nights and weekends worrying or stressing over issues he brings into my life – has been the first feeling of peace I have felt in a long time.

    It’s a daily struggle trying to forget, trying not to call or text, because I was in love, this was what I believed to be my soulmate, my life. But it was nothing but a lie, I was just one of many, for no other reason but the fact that he cannot control his sociopathic nature.

    I don’t know what the future will hold for me, I don’t know if I will fully recover, I don’t know if I will ever heal from this, but I am going to try – it’s all I have left to save myself from this.

    For those of you who have experienced a relationship with a narcissistic sociopath

    Good Luck to you all & God Bless you all

    • My heart goes out to you in your experience with a sociopath. Such a relationship can feel damaging and confusing and hurtful. If you read through the articles you saw that sociopaths have no normal feelings. They feel no guilt, no love, no remorse. They consider others as suckers and easy targets, and have no respect for anyone. They cannot be helped because they don’t believe they need any help. They can even be dangerous. How sad for his child.

      You are so very wise that you love yourself enough to break contact. The living hell would be if you were married to him or lived with him. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that when you reach out to your family and friends how eager they will be to reconnect with you. Now you’ve freed yourself to find your ‘true’ soul mate. Or no mate at all if that is what you prefer, because you are wonderful just the way you are. Volunteering for good causes is a wonderful way to meet people, and at church/synagogue.

      I don’t know your spiritual beliefs, but I know for you that the real You cannot be hurt by such relationships for you are not your body, your relationships, your career, your wealth and your possessions. You are as created by the Source, with love. And you are happiest when you are living in the truth of who you really are.

      By the way, this blog post on sociopaths is by far the most popular page ever published on Truth. Approximately 67% of all of Truth’s viewers are reading this page, so you are not alone.

      I congratulate you on your wisdom! Your courage and belief in yourself will take you where you want to be.

      • Thank you for your heartfelt message, it brought me to tears, but the type of tears which breathe a sigh of relief, that I have hope. God bless you

      • woooooow truly amazing I thought I was the only one who’s living this. my husband is from Cameroon he stole our son it’s been 14yrs lied to his new woman saying that he & my marriage was fake so on & so forth now he’s still lying….

    • You will recover…you will heal…..and believe it or not you will be a better, stronger kinder person for the experience. And smarter too. You never could have known that a person like this exists….at least I didn’t…and it’s still sometimes difficult to fathom because their behavior makes no sense…thanks for sharing your story…I at one time felt so alone because the whole situation was just crazy and I didn’t think anyone would believe me…..it was happening right in front of me and I wasn’t sure that it was real!!! But it was and nothing I could have done could have fixed it or made things right….believe me I tried. I know it’s cliche to say “be kind to yourself” but do….take a day off in your head….don’t think about it even if it’s for a few minutes….give yourself time….those folks do alot of damage…they might bend you until you think you are broken…but you are not….

    • Similar situation here, and I’ve been out of it for 9 years and watched him go through it all with wife #2. He’s moved on again – or should I say, she has moved on. You purged all that, it’s your turn, too!

      • So grateful you are out of the 9-year sociopathic relationship. Good for you. That takes a lot of courage.

    • God bless you

    • You sound just like my daughter. Although I am very sad for u, finding these sites n reading so many stories I am so thankful to know that it’s real, the craziness is real n he is truly evil. Being on this roller coaster ride for almost 9 yrs., has taken such a toll on me because I didn’t understand truly the evilness n just why? Who does this? I would call him a sociopath not fully knowing what he was. Watching my daughter go thru this is like being in a nightmare that never ends. I saw some weird behaviors that I would say What Just Happened? My daughter n I r very close n she would share things with me that were over the top. Although, every time she was done, he would beg, cry, do exactly enough to get her to stay, until the next time, which the next time u never knew when it would be, months, weeks, days or moments. What amazed me was he knew she confided in me, n could come around me as if none of it occurred(who does that?). My daughter who truly loved what she thought he was would forgive him for his (evilness as I called it) behavior, n I because they were working it out had no choice but to put it aside to be able to continue a relationship with her. When it was bad it was very bad, the names he called her, the not owning any part of it n she was at fault, she brought this upon herself. Seeing the shell of a wonderful, loving, god fearing moral soul be tortured was so painful at times has robbed me also of years. However not under his evil spell, as early on in their relationship I knew it could not last, I did not know how it would end, but knew I would be there to pick up the pieces. Well she is in the middle of the divorce, having two children with this devil has given him two other things to hurt, manipulate, use n in the end try to destroy(over my dead body). When your in the midst of the devil it is so hard to wrap your head around anything because the pile is so high n he just keeps adding it on, that’s why it took me so long to find these sites. I have shared them with her n at times we both look like two deers in headlights, on some of them the only thing missing is his picture. All I can say is that u have started the process, that’s the first step, take it one day at a time n pray a lot for the will to put one foot in front of the other, they r predators that thrive on the win at all costs because they r not connected.

      • Oh my! I’m so sorry you and your daughter AND her children are going through this.

        The most difficult challenge is for her to realize how special she is, and to love herself. Loving herself is the most important responsibility she has, because how can she love her children and you and others until she first loves herself.

        She will be stronger once she remembers Who created her and the Power that means for her.

        Once she does that and believes that and knows how special she is, she will realize that when you love and respect yourself you do not allow ANYONE to mistreat you or those you love.

        You then demand respect for yourself because you are Holy, created by God. There is no higher power – and no human has authority over any of us UNLESS we allow it.

        God bless you and your loved ones.

    • I understand what you have gone through since I went through the exact same thing. My ex-husband was (and still is) a master manipulator and never takes responsibility for his actions. Your future should be brighter after getting rid of such a cancer in your life.

    • Thank you for posting your story. I recognize several things you reported, which happened to me also. How he annoyed you so while he was driving, that you asked to get out by the side of the road. How one remark you make causes him to start a tirade and cancel a planned activity. How he can at the last minute refuse to attend an event that you have planned and prepared for, with no explanation. Seems that only someone who has lived through a relationship of this type can truly believe it is possible and not a fiction.

    • In many ways, I’m sorry for your experience. On another level, I’ve found this can be such a devastating thing that it awakens us in ways we might never have imagined. Monsters are real, and it’s better to know. Otherwise, we are much easier prey for the predator.

      The sociopath in my life was much the same. But he was able to have some semblence of regular life in owning a home (which he stole from his ex-wife’s family), and retiring from a job working with sex-offenders and others of his mindset. His employers would complain that he had “too close a repore” with the convicts in the mental health area of the prison in which he worked. He was gathering information and honing his skills. He became obvious to some, but he walked that line which kept him untouchable.

      He travels from woman to woman creating nightmares. Always there is extreme drama of one sort or another, and triangles endlessly causing tension. He pits people against each other and finds ways to get whatever he can from them. Yet, he really does try to keep as many of his “lovers” to stay for long periods of time. He thinks of himself as the puppet master. I’m sure you ex is no different. I hope your resolve stands.

      • Once the confusion, the fear and then the anger pass through, compassion for the hell those people live with inside of them is next, because they have to live with themselves for their entire lifespan, while the rest of us can walk away and freely choose to live the kind of life we want for ourselves. How horrible for them. A life sentence. I keep thinking that surely there is a way to help them, but the experts say not so. Which means we much love ourselves and decide what we want for our own lives, then make the kinds of choices that will result in the life we envision, and focus on that.

        God bless you.

    • you did the right thing and, in my experience I know that your story is a genuine one. Only those who have been through this will ever understand.

      • You Got that right, only someone who has been thru hell with one of these people would understand. Its a fight for your life to get out. They will hurt you in ways you could not fathom. the guy I was with posted horrible lies about me on FB, and wrote to my children, and friends, calling me all kinds of names. Cheated on me several times, caught him on live sex chats, nude women on his phone, tried many times to knock me around. Alcohol is his only love, which makes him completely insane, and dangerous. Now, I’m not stupid, nor slow, I’m a quick study type of gal, I remember EVERYTHING he has done to me, and now for the last few months, I’ve been planning my escape. and turned the tables against him! take emotion out of the picture and study and learn! You don’t know what your capable of unless your a mom, or grandmother, what you can do until someone tries to hurt your children or grandchildren. Stay strong my friends, trust God, and above all, GET OUT no matter how sneaky/ sly or cunning you have to be. Don’t be intimidated, hurt, or used.

      • You said you are planning your escape. Are you still with him?

    • Hey debra, I got married almost 2 years ago, we are split up now. And this shit is scary. She was every bit of everything in here. My sis in law told me to read about it. I’ve been depressed about a month now, and now everything seems to be making alot more sense to me. WOW, pretty damn scary though, I am glad it didn’t go any longer.

    • Debra your story is almost exactly like mine the experiences and how you forgave time after time only to be betrayed time after time. I do believe they know how much they hurt us they just don’t care. I totally feel your pain I hope you stay strong I’m praying for you for I’m going through the same thing. GOD Bless YOU! Dane

    • YOU can do this and you will be glad you did after time heals your heart and soul. Trust me run and never look back I know and I made it. Life has so much more than lies and empty promises.

  4. God bless you! You might enjoy the page posted today on Unconditional Love and Non-Judgment, June 6, 2013. http://truthlover5.com/2013/06/06/unconditional-love-and-non-judgment/

  5. […] are some of the common traits of a sociopath?  They are extremely adept at lying; they are callous, but very charming when it serves their […]

  6. This describes my mother to a T and she is now 88 years old. At night, I lock my house doors and bedroom door because I fear she will break into my home and murder me in my sleep. She is a relentless heartless monster like a lying leach that seeks to humiliate it’s victim first and suck the life out it until it cries mercy and then she continues heartlessly to watch you die. It is her only goal in life and she will not stop until she ceases to breathe. I am at least glad to know that there is a clinical name to this type of person. I wish I could have her committed to the psychiatric ward but the hospital says she is sane and somewhat depressed. If this is sanity then I would rather be with a bunch of crazy people.

    • I’m so sorry you’ve grown up and lived with a person burdened with such a personality. I do not know the cause of the damaging defect, but one person can affect many lives for either good or ill. They can easily fool others with their apparent sanity and be incredibly charming. How are you doing??

    • My mother is exactly as described here, and most of my life I kept the details of my life with her hidden. I couldn’t imagine that other people were going through the same thing, often thinking that there was something wrong with me. After over 50 years of this, I finally spoke out and started to put my foot down with her. Of course her smear campaign of me only escalated. But I no longer care what her “friends” think of me, and people who really know me do not believe her. Sites like this have helped me to understand what is wrong with her, and when I read the stories, I can’t believe it sounds like what I have been going through my whole life. Thank you all for sharing.

      • My heart aches to read your comment. I’m so glad you had to strength to become your own person despite her damaged personality. God bless.

  7. I’m not sure if the guy I dated was a narcissist (NPD), borderline, or sociopath, or just a combination of all. He was perfect for about 4 months then his true colors came out. He basically wanted my world to revolve around his but at the same time he only wants to date girls who are successful and independent because girls who are not intelligent and ambitious are just not good enough for him. I caught him in a lie about that time and he turned it around on me to make me feel like I was the one who did wrong. He gave me a very nice gift for my birthday and told me that if I was going to break up with him b/c I couldn’t trust him then that gift was HIS all while yelling and sounding angry. I then, knew my perfect man was not perfect. I just thought he was having a bad day, worked it out and gave him another chance. Not long after,he started getting mad over nothing, anything would set him off. Trying to pick fights over nothing, creating drama, complains about anything and he is never wrong, always has to be right. Just a DIVA and mean! We broke up on his birthday after I went to all the trouble to celebrate with him and gave him a very nice gift. It’s like that is all he wanted, to get the gift and just run. No class. Who does that? It’s like he did what he accused me of. Taking a birthday gift and then breaking up with him. But I didn’t, I loved him and cared enough to work things out. He just dumped me and acts as though it never really meant a thing. Cold, callous!

    • For the rest of us, like you, we are confused when someone behaves as they do and at first we wonder if we are the one at fault, if we are paranoid. You are not alone with what you’ve gone through. Out of all the TRUTH posts on politics and world challenges, the page on Narcissism is by far the most read page on the blog – at least 67%. These people are never at fault, have no guilt or remorse, and in reality, have no capacity for true love. They can also be dangerous. This experience is a lesson we learn that helps us to help others. AND we are quicker to recognize the personality next time. This is when we realize that who we are is important and we matter first and foremost. We learn that it is vital to love ourselves first, without judgment. You are very wise to have figured the pattern out as quickly as you did, and before you married him and had children. Good for you!

  8. Unfortunately for me I married one and had a child with him before I realized who he really is. Apparently our child ‘stealing his (meant FOR him) attention and love’ was more than he could handle. 4 days after separating from him my sister killed herself. He says he cares for the sake of his image but he really doesn’t despite his own mom committing suicide in 2006. I don’t get him but look forward to being as free from him as I can while sharing a child. Sigh.

    • You’re fortunate you’ve recognized the man for what he is, and that you are not at fault. You are also not the experience; you are strong and whole and are healing/healed. Also fortunate you did so when your child is young. God bless you.

      • Kristin, I was very disappointed to read your condescending comment. You sound just like a narcissist, sociopath, whatever you want to call them. This is a place to share experiences and comfort each other, not attack someone to, what, prove you know more? Good for you I say sarcastically. I think I speak for everyone when I say you are not welcome here with that attitude. Be kind or don’t come back.

    • My ex-husband blamed me for his cheating by stating that my attention for him waned as we had children. He became jealous that my attention wasn’t on him anymore. He also blamed the other women for seducing him. I was in counseling for quite awhile to understand that, no, it wasn’t my fault that he constantly strayed from the marriage and I came to the realization that he won’t ever take responsibility for anything he does. I was his permanent scapegoat but I just turn my back to his drama now and he resents it. Having children with him is a challenge but I would never say in a million years that I never wanted children with him; they are my everything.

      • Your children are blessings out of the tragedy. So glad you now KNOW you are not the problem, a step that is crucial to eliminating the sociopath’s sick control over you and your loved ones. How freeing! God bless you.

  9. I just have one comment and sorry but the words people use helps a true Sociopath further cover up and enables them.. Using the term Narcissistic Sociopath keeps a lot of people in confusion . by definition a Sociopath is a Narcissistic. But a narcissist doesn’t mean they are a Sociopath. The more we can a a whole keep them separated by not using the terms together will help our society a a whole safer by hopefully being able to expose these Sub humans. Using the terms sociopathic tendencies should only be used when defining a person that IS A Sociopath, not those THAT MIGHT OR ARE or have narcissistic tendencies. The Sociopath has narcissistic traits because one cannot be a sociopath with out being a narcissist. So please think about this because all it does is allow a Sociopath to hide more and infect more people. If such a small percentage of the population hold a majority of the financial capital in this world. Than taking that analogy how many people are infected by Sociopath (using it as a noun for effect) how many people enable these Sub Humans and do you know the amount of harm you are causing by being a pawn of them. Causing harm to the one or few that they (because of all they have infected ) you or you ….. or even you , but mostly all three: The true suffers live in hell without knowing it and the aftermath continues forever for them, because they who (in there minds ) expose them are their biggest threat…… So please A Sociopath is a completely different diagnosis and should never be used in comparison to anything else. If we diagnosed them for what they are how could we not open Alcatraz up and leave them there. There is no cure, they only do harm and they can not be helped with medication therapy or anything.

    • I’m sorry for your ten years of what must have been a horrible existence. I pray you are now free from the situation. Surely a lot of healing is needed to recover from the misery and I pray, too, that you are healing/healed.

      You wrote interesting comments about narcissistic and sociopath. This is the first time I’ve read that one must be a sociopath to be narcissistic. In fact, in my research, I found they are not necessarily the same:

      One noted difference between a narcissistic sociopath and people with narcissism alone is thatt:

      The narcissist with the sociopathy reacts strongly and sometimes even violently to negative feedback. True sociopaths generally do not respond to criticism or care what others may think of them.
      A narcissistic sociopath is unable to tolerate criticism and needs constant praise, as well as deference from other people. Many with this condition present themselves in the best light possible and are able to easily charm others to gain their trust.

      http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-narcissistic-sociopath.htm


      I am certainly not an expert on this topic, but I share what I do find out because we can truly be blindsided and hurt before we realize with what we are dealing. If people know what signs to look for, perhaps they will be spared what you and others have suffered before finding out the truth.

      Thanks for sharing.
      Truthlover

      • If you had taken the time to read the words i wrote and the response you wrote you left me in a utter state of confusion.. Quoting you ” This is the first time I’ve read that one must be a sociopath to be narcissistic” I said nothing of the sort ME ” The Sociopath has narcissistic traits because one cannot be a sociopath with out being a narcissist” Again a Sociopath is a Narcissist.
        YOU THEN WENT ON TO STATE:
        “One noted difference between a narcissistic sociopath and people with narcissism alone is thatt”

        you cant state noted differences when referring to a person” a narcissistic sociopath” and using the comparison of ” people with narcissism” THEN LATER USE “THE NARCISSIST with the sociopathy” — hang i n there with me point will unfold hopefully

        Then even worse you state
        “A narcissistic sociopath is unable to tolerate criticism and needs constant praise, as well as deference from other people. Many with this condition present themselves in the best light possible and are able to easily charm others to gain their trust.” – ok if that is a fact or a truth i cannot =say the following — A SOCIOPATH can use criticism to change; to further mask their being A SOCIOPATH…

        “The narcissist with the sociopathy reacts strongly and sometimes even violently to negative feedback. True sociopaths generally do not respond to criticism or care what others may think of them.” i cant respond to that because that means person A “the narcissist” is with person B ” Sociopath” ……………..

        narcissistic and sociopath — no it is Narcissists and sociopaths —
        narcissistic is a adjective — the definition of a adjective is a word naming an attribute of a noun

        ergo a narcissistic Sociopath is just a Sociopath – the narcissistic part is an adjective of the noun in this case a trait (or a descriptive word of the noun) of the Sociopath . Where they’re was my hope to just use the term sociopath .. If someone then asks what is a sociopath, one can answer with descriptive adjective traits etc…. I have PTSD and i know where you’ll get me here C-PTSD …. but no the C hyphen is just to shorten the condition Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is a classification of ptsd …..YOUR TERM “NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH” would mean there are different classifications of sociopaths. And no there isn’t .

        you go on to state The narcissist (noun) with the sociopathy (also a noun) DID THEY TAKE WALK TOGETHER ???? ****sociopathy***** is a noun another word for a sociopath. it is not an adjective,
        so·ci·o·path·ic, is and adjective……

        Example sentences for sociopathic

        His more calculating brother is still alive, as is his sociopathic father.

        And becoming a top corporate lawyer takes not only smarts, but also a degree of sociopathic drive.

        Sociopathic parents are unlikely to respect agreements made in such a forum unless doing so suits their purposes.

        Also they should be required for the sociopathic pinheads that can’t be bothered to pay attention when driving.

        It starkly portrays a desperation born of disgust, and then an exultation at lurching into a brief, sociopathic freedom.

        No known treatments for sociopathic personality disorder.

        The definition of what is unreasonable for sociopathic racketeers is simply different than it is for other people.

        Their life styles in adult age is characterized by various forms of sociopathic behavior, including former criminal history.

        In fact, there is a sermon type cadence and ring to this sociopathic homily.

        The point isn’t to prevent people from being sociopaths, it’s to prevent them from indulging their sociopathic impulses.

        We have seen the sociopathic behavior of the corporation at work, destroying people to create private profits.

        Yet it can’t be denied that his thinking lends itself to being used to justify sociopathic violent behavior.

        Business isolated from society and its needs is sociopathic.

        These symptoms can result in bizarre behavior, but dangerous sociopathic actions are generally unlikely.

        Poor impulse control combined with inadequate self esteem or lower social standing is enough to create sociopathic behavior.

        I did take these directly from http://www.reference.com/example-sentences/sociopathic to show you a new word SOCIOPATHIC which is an __________ Adjective are you starting to see where words can be misused causing great harm to other… PPS using references not as whole articles does not make your point you make true. As if I contacted these writers doctors etc… putting them in the reference section or using some parts from them without there permission is not ethical just to try to prove your point.. .. At least use quotes around there words…

        Why it bothers me the next comment down from Deb on july 29th at 5:00pm
        ” Interesting website about sociopaths and narcissistic personalities. I have had my fill of this type of personality and honestly wish they would all just disappear. I swear the world would be a better place.website about sociopaths and narcissistic personalities. I have had my fill of this type of personality and honestly wish they would all just disappear. I swear the world would be a better place.

        The people who mindlessly follow this type of personalities are simply idiots who are devoid of a mind… It’s disgusting to me that so many, many people literally in all walks of life and in all professions are this way. They spread their hate and destruction far and wide without a care at all for their target. And just be aware that with the existence of Facebook and other social media, an evil person like a sociopath and narcissist can spread their lies to anyone and literally destroy someone’s life and livelihood.”

        Now Im tired and FROM what deb said I am doing what she said by perpetuating you…. to be part of society who feeds the Sociopath… Some would say Narcissist are jealous of Sociopath, I say sometimes i am too, what could i do if i woke up tomorrow as me but with no empathy , feelings; basically all the brainwashing and continued psychological warfare disappeared, all the aftermath after coming out of a ten year comma , gone, Guess how many people and how quickly they would be running, there would be no stopping me to exposing The truth : and Defining The SOCIOPATH -. Finally going after all the judges and pawns, sheep, that allowed his abuse on me, including the 300 plus people that have raped me with him….. and the judges lawyers , the so called help for victims, ….

        This whole comment is coming from a now woman that was with a sociopath for ten years….. I cannot get back my 20’s to 30’s so yes i think I’ve used the right term a being in a comma…. I’m to tired to go into my story because 10 years 24/7 Id crash the WWW … And i hope someone gets something from this I did just by writing it and finishing it

        PPS I also have a background in sociology psychology and drug and alcohol counseling … And even though you state you are not a professional you should still hold to the ethics of those that are in the helping field is always should be in therapy as to not project your issue with what you are trying to accomplish …. .<3 Thank you all for reading

    • I too was a victim of a Narcissist Sociopath. Every statement and every action you stated that was done to you, was done to me. I was lied to about everything, his whole life was a lie, and even when I knew he was lying, he continued the act with more lies. Cold, callous, oblivious to my feelings, only cared about himself and what he wanted. I was verbally manipulated and abused to the extreme. There were his episodes of rage and everything was my fault. He was completely blameless even when he had committed the actions himself. I moved heaven and earth for him- I supported this man for the whole 5 years I was with him. God knows he probably had money I did not know about….. I bailed him out of jail and got him lawyers, and he was cheating behind my back with someone that had turned him into jail and said he had pulled a gun on her and then accused him of robbery a month later and threw him in jail again, yet she never showed up to court and he was let go. Now this supposed woman has “his back and looks out for him”! How is this possible? And why would any man want to be with a woman who had done this to him, so I do believe that they are both just like each other and find some kind of solice in each other. He saw me as above him and tried relentlessly to tear me down and belittle me. He spent countless hours trying to prove he was smarter than me and could decieve me with his lies. He is shacked up with this psycho bitch again and dragged her into a restaurant where we were supposed to meet and talk and she sits down at the table and he asks me why I don’t like her!!!!! I about flipped the table upside down. This man cared so little about how bad he was tearing my heart out and hurting me, and I am sure she is not the only one. I am just devastated and I will not speak to him. I am at the breaking point and have had enough. The love has been destroyed. I felt he was also my soulmate and the love of my life and hung on for 5 years. This man never worked, he conned me out of hundreds of dollars with his lies. What he is doing now is just a manipulation, trying to get me on the defensive so he has the upper hand again. I don’t think so. I just waiting to see what will happen next because this man is sorely hurting without my money and I don’t care. I actually have money in the bank and money saved. I am sick of being lied to by a man who is not capable of loving me because he is sick. He will never admit he has a problem, because I was the problem. I was blamed for everything and yelled at in a very abusive way. I was called names, I was stood up, I stopped answering my phone. I don’t know either if I will ever recover from this, I just take one day at a time. It has been a week since I heard from him, hopefully he is gone but I don’t think so. He is just laying in wait- waiting for me to forget like I have forgotten and forgiven him many times. I don’t remember too many happen times between us, he did not want to do things with me or spend quality time with me. I have seriously thought about leaving the area to end this horrible game. I am trying not to blame myself, I know it is not my fault, and glad I found this page and realize how many other people have been fooled by a sociopath.

      • You are so smart to have finally figured him out! He will not change. You cannot make him change. The only thing you can do is change yourself. To love yourself and know what kind of life you choose to live for you. When you do that, and are yourself as you want to be, then you will attract those to you who like you for the real you. Choose wisely. Chose what is right for you. Every choice is a new start. Let me know how you are doing.

  10. Interesting website about sociopaths and narcissistic personalities. I have had my fill of this type of personality and honestly wish they would all just disappear. I swear the world would be a better place.
    The people who mindlessly follow this type of personalities are simply idiots who are devoid of a mind… It’s disgusting to me that so many, many people literally in all walks of life and in all professions are this way. They spread their hate and destruction far and wide without a care at all for their target. And just be aware that with the existence of facebook and other social media, an evil person like a sociopath and narcissist can spread their lies to anyone and literally destroy someone’s life and livelihood.

    • I was surprised in my research of the high percentage of people with his disturbing personality. That they can be charming takes us off guard because most of us are so trusting. There are some of this description in positions of power who are quite dangerous, but most people don’t recognize the danger. At least once we know of the profile, we are better prepared.

  11. Reblogged this on Dancing Alone.

  12. Their is No Cure
    Kill them
    Each and everyone

    • Ah, I understand your passion, but to do that makes us as much of a problem. killing is not the answer. We must be wise enough to spot them and make our own decisions on how we react – including walking away and leading the life that is right for us.

  13. I just love the honesty in the comment kill them all. Send them all to Alcatraz together . Would be a great reality show. I’m sorry but sociopaths are subhumans . No one should have any conscious contact with one or they are adding to their manipulation of OUR society

    • I understand your passion,but personally, I don’t believe killing anyone is the answer because one could not do that to another without being affected themselves. Such acts hurt the perpetrator. Another comment is that we are asked not to judge another but to leave judgment to a higher power. We are asked to love, unconditionally. Not condone, mind you, but love, including ourselves. We are asked to forgive as we want to be forgiven. Agreed, as simple as this sounds, it isn’t always easy.

  14. Why is it that these type of people can walk all over others. Lie , steal , hurt anyone they wish AND a lot of the things they get away with is illegal -but they seem to smell like roses stead of fish huh ? Our troubled sociopath is a gf to a family member who ruined 16 yrs of our lives so far ,
    That woman has connections with:
    (They seem to beleive her lies.)

    A)the police dept.
    B) doctors
    C) politicians
    D) her co workers
    Is there legal help for us . What can the law do ?as far as have a person undergo a test ?

    • You are beyond my ability to answer on a legal question. For that you should ask an attorney. I’m always amazed how much the sociopaths get by with because people don’t see through their facade. Once burned by one sociopath, though, the other sociopaths are easier to spot. Keep in touch with how this works out for you and your family. Pray about this. God bless.

  15. Reblogged this on TRUTH and commented:

    MOST READ page at TRUTH is “Profile of a Narcissistic Sociopath – Charming, Manipulative, Grandiose, Lying, Authoritarian, Secretive, Divisive…” Do you know one?

  16. Unfortunately I know one all too well. Going to court is not fun and having accounts accessed and my personal privacy totally violated is just not Ok…. What a messed up mind I had been living with. He’s really not well, the lies,the manipulations, the secrecy and the pathetic displays of charm he tried on me but didn’t work too well, wasn’t having the intended effect he was after. I had worked him out pretty early on after moving in with him and there were too many holes in his behaviour to see anything else but a man with the motives of trying to set me up and to have a personal gain for his own benefit. He made out he was the good guy but he wasn’t. Displaying an image of a social upstanding citizen was something he was just not good at and he simply isn’t. He didn’t play his cards too well as I saw right through his fake facade. He enjoyed creating havoc and didn’t like me getting along with friends and family. He was trying one by one, including my sons friends and my son to get them on side to make up stories and play the god image he felt he deserved to act against me because I wouldn’t marry him. His whole plan had crumbled and he was no longer in control and wasn’t going to get what he wanted.
    He began to stalk and harrass me to the point of sending endless emails and txt messages to which I never entered into. Accessed my facebook and changed my password twice. I went to court and will be going again soon. My advice is to not stop and don’t let these insecure individuals win as they’re really not what they make themselves out to be. Anyone that has to act this way by intimidating, threatening, putting the fear into, lying, manipulating, conning and playing mind games are not people you wan’t to be around as they will try just about anything to corner and get what they want. I was totally under-estimated and although I’m a quiet person I see and notice everything around me and have a great sense if something isn’t right. Always follow your intuition and if you feel something isn’t right follow it.

    • So proud of you for figuring him out quickly and walking away – or trying to. Love your comment about following your intuition. Thanks for the post.

  17. This is my bf

    • Ouch. Love them, but love yourself first. Don’t be a martyr and don’t be a doormat because that doesn’t help anyone.

  18. Hello, first time on this blog; reading the various stories confirms to me and my wife that our son fits right in with the descriptions and the traits of a narcissistic sociopath; unfortuantely it is too late to do anything about it, the harm was done, the crime was commited (by him) 5 years ago. He was 28 years old, in a”difficult” relationship with a single mother, living with her and not treating her well, as described in the stories in this blog, very similar…could never hold a job, lied, manipulated etc…you all know the script. He and this woman (descent person!) had a child, a beautiful healthy boy. He had just turned 3 months when one morning, the mother had left for work, the father was supposed to bring his son to our house on his way to work. The phone rang, my wife answered, our son claimed his baby boy “was acting weird”….my wife calls me at work, we agree to meet there; she is closer so she gets there first, when I get there she’s already in her car rushing our grand child to the hospital (quicker than calling 911 in that case)…..our baby had been shaken, but not just shaken actually, he had been hit because he was crying…..! The little boy just turned 5, he was rendered a “vegetable”…does not see, barely hears, has zero muscle command, cannot sit or stand, barely a sound comes out of him. The list of the victims is long (in addition to the obvious one) : the mother, her 6 year old (at the time) daughter, the mother’s parents, our entire family with my wife and I topping the list. Our son is serving 12+ years. Sufficient or not, opinions will vary of course, but the problem does not rest in the sheer number of years, the real problem is that the criminal to that day has no genuine remorse (only remoreful to have been caught), blames all but him, especially the mother, writes threatening letters, is out for “revenge” toward the people who ” did him in” (his words)…etc. So this is a case where the sociopath is definitely a narcissist and displays obvious traits of violence. Having the opportunity to write this helps me “unload” some but I also think that the more cases people read about, the better their chances are to take “action” (whatever that may be) and prevent such tragedies. The next dreaded steps for us is when our little angel leaves us and then when our the perpetrator is released…will the mother of his child be next? his parents perhaps? it’s been seen before. We do plan, when time comes and if he still exhibits signs of wanting to hurt, on pleading with the authorities to keep him in a mental facility. How sad, how tragic, how irreversible….from our own flesh.
    Thank you for reading.
    DL

    • Oh my! What a tragedy for all of you! I can feel and hear your hurt, not only for all of your loved ones, but also for your son who is burdened with this type of personality. A strong personal faith helps tremendously. One of my most successful responses to tragedy is to say my “Thank You, God,”prayer. If you don’t like the word God you can substitute whatever name best speaks to you, The Creator, Divine Wisdom, the Great Healer… The prayer goes, “Thank you, God, for taking this tragedy and turning it into a blessing, into something more wonderful than if it had never happened.” And then believe, without doubt, that it will be so. Keep me informed. And thanks for sharing.

    • DL, I’m asking how you and your family are doing? How your grandson is doing?

  19. reading these comments has really comforted me and made me feel im not alone and so many women have been through horrible expediences. i have been with my boyfriend for almost five years i love him more than anything and cant really control my feelings i have for him. he makes me laugh we watch films together, go out for meals with friends and he is my best friend. unfortunately a lot of things ive read on here he is.

    no matter how many times i ask him to tell me facts or details the story changes or mixes up and i constantly get blamed for having paranoia. I want to feel angry but something inside of me accepts his lies and cheating ways. i dont no why i stay but something inside of me lets me stay and forgive.

    my boyfriend is currently unemployed and has been for a year i suggested he get a job in the same shop i work in to get him out of the house and try and help .. one of the reasons he claimed that made him leave me after i found out he was cheating on me the first time.

    i am constantly in tears most days over his cheating, the way he puts me down and his angry outbrusts , yet i still feel uncontrollable love for him. i found this article sitting in our flat we share on my own feeling like nobody understands… he currently claims hes out with a friend when really he is with his friends sister and has spent sevral hours there as apprently she gives great foot massages

    in my head im screaming its all a joke and hes lying through his teeth but then the other part of me wants to believe . im the only girl in his life.

    i would just like to thank everyone for their comments they help me understand im not alone in this. i hope something will change but i have waited and waited for a change that never seems to come … i have become very close to my partners family over time i dont no if they are aware of how our relationship is like .. im stuck in a pickle and i cant get out and feel terribly alone in reality …

    • How frustrating for you. What would you like to change? What do you want for yourself? Happiness? Joy? True love? Your words say that you are not experiencing any of these.

      Realize, you cannot change anyone else, only yourself. Forgiving is good, but that is not the same as condoning and accepting. Love is good, but first you must love yourself, without judgment, unconditionally. – THEN you can love others as you love yourself. Loving another does not mean enabling them in their false illusions. And there are some personalities that will never change because they don’t believe there is anything wrong with them – it’s always the other person’s fault.

      I want you to know that you are loved by God and created from God’s love. If you don’t like the word, God, you may substitute any other name that is meaningful to you – Unconditional Love, the All Knowing, Divine Wisdom… Try this “Thank You, God…” prayer. “Thank you, God, for taking this situation and turning it into something wonderful, more magnificent than if this had never happened. Knowing that there is something better waiting for me, thank you for guiding me in the direction You want for my life.” What I suggest you do is to connect to the very center of your being where lies all of your answers. Listen to the Truth. Ask for courage to step out and change the pattern of your current life. Make good decisions for you, and for your life. This is the time to be strong and turn your life onto the path you truly want – the path you choose.

      God bless.

    • …no they are NOT all men, but men are the majority according to statistics and I believe that; my own spouse of 45 years has slowly reached a point where she fits in that category…very difficult and very sad, after so many years; and no reasoning will do, nothing. I am a very patient man who listens with ease and truth, who always tries to make everyone “happy” within our family, but at times it seems “evil? prevails…..good luck to all of you “victims” of co-habitation with such person.

      • I understand what you are saying, and I’m sure you also know cannot ‘make’ anyone else happy – that is an inside out job for each person. What we can do is center within Spirit ourselves and be loving to ourselves and others – sometimes that inner calmness and joy within us affects others around us.

  20. Pamela……..leave him …now …save yourself years of mental /emotional abuse./ later physical .. and live the rest of your life for you…x

  21. Good God!! Is it more common for men than women to be narcissistic sociopaths? After reading peoples comments just sitting in complete shock. These are all the characteristics of my GF and her whole family. She is a complete mess. From the constant lying never taking account for her own actions to always needing everyone’s approval I met her and she had said she was divorced only to realize she was still married. I fell head over heels for this woman would do anything for her only to be yelled at for non existent issues. With me always going back to her begging for her to take me back. I spent countless dollars on her. we would always meet in parks, restaurant’s never coming to my place to just hang out. we would make countless plans and always ending with her just completely ignoring me then call me a day later like nothing happened I have finally come to realization she never loved or cared for me. when I started having an intuition or feeling something was up with her, I did my investigating to only find out that she had been seeing another person and possibly another man. I am totally crushed but I will move on from this just not really sure if I could ever trust again going to make me very jaded and guarded to say the least. it is taking every bit of my soul to not exact revenge on her for feeling absolutely used and humiliated. My only saving grace is that she’s 46, has no valuables, or career to speak of, in debt up to her eyeballs, and aging very rapidly.

    • The first person I realized was a Charming Sociopath was a woman. I was confused and blindsided by her being so pleasant to my face, then to my back, plotting and turning people against me, telling lies about me, and even tried to get me fired so that she could have my job. I knew she was stealing from our company, but I had no proof. I finally looked up the attributes on the Internet, and they exactly fit this kind of personality. So, they aren’t all men.

      Although you don’t realize it, you are fortunate you have her figured out. This type of personality cannot love. Their emotions are shallow. They think of people as suckers and to be used to benefit them, and without remorse.

      Decide what you want for YOUR life. All change comes from inside you. All choices are yours to make to create the life you want. Only you can do this. Envision what you want and make your choices accordingly to help you reach that vision. Until you walk away from this, you will not be available for the perfect person as a companion. This type of personality sucks people in and does damage before the unwary, trusting person realizes what is happening. It’s not you. It’s the way they work, and manipulate.

      Let me know how it is working out for you. God bless.

  22. How unfortunate that I do know people like this!

  23. I have just ended my relationship with my sick sister. For years I have put up with her behaviour. This time was the last straw. She lies, she thinks that she is never wrong and life is about her, her and her. She doesn’t care who she hurts, family, friends anyone that comes into her life. She has never had a long lasting relationship and I found out my ex and her were seeing each other. It didn’t bother her, all she could say was he had a good body in the nude!!!! This time has been so hurtful for me. I have a fantastic friend who is just wonderful and this is where my sister went off..She told people I was gay, and many other nasty things about me. So I cut ties and this is where she became nasty. As a young teen I was abducted from a bus stop and held against my will with a gun to my head. She has told many people that I asked to be abducted because I wouldn’t get out the car. Abit hard when the car doesn’t have door knobs. She knew this yet still lied to many people and also about my son. My son is in his 20’s and has had a rough patch which I am working through with him. With all this gossip about my abduction , it has caused some very bad memories. flash backs, panic attacks. My psychologist was working through this with me and now I feel over welmed.

    • Oh my! I’m so sorry you are going through this, but glad you recognized the personality defect when you did. I’m sure it’s very difficult when the person is a sibling.

      Believe in yourself. In your son. Ask for and accept Divine Guidance. You are special and unique. Love yourself and know this isn’t any of your doing. God bless.

    • She sounds a lot like my sister, and I had gotten to the point where I will not allow her to hurt me with her lies, manipulation and guilt trips she put on me in the past. She was also very mean to me growing up, and as an adult. I finally told her how I felt about her selfishness through a message on facebook, but I had to block her so she wouldn’t reply and blame me for everything while continuing to hurt me. I’m sure she doesn’t understand why I blocked her because she never sees HER WRONGS, but I really don’t care at this point since there comes a time when you have to start protecting yourself.

      • I’m sorry to be so slow approving this posting. For some reason it wasn’t showing up. Sounds like you are choosing the right actions for you, and yes, loving yourself is important. Sadly, your sister has to live with her behavior which means she is truly an unhappy person inside. You are the one who is truly free.

  24. I have been dealing with this my whole life and finally stopped it 2 years ago. My sister has mental issues and this article describes her to a t. She has attacked me and my family for the past two years and dragged my parents into her delusional world. My mother will not have anything to do with me anymore for that I feel bad but once again the division was created by this sociopathic person. Reading this only makes me wonder why it took me so long to wake up to it. I am so glad that I found this.

    • I audibly sighed in relief to know you are strong and realistic and are beyond anything your sister can or will do to you. I’m proud of you! God bless.

  25. Well, I have to say that I’m very glad to have found this site. Although I’m also very sad to see how many others have been through such horrible experiences. I’ve recently left my husband of 3 years and have maintained NO Contact with him for about a month now. It’s been difficult but this last time was the absolute worst ever and he really left me only three choices: 1. I could stay and succumb to the abuse 2. stay and continue to fight with him against his abuse 3. Leave. I chose door #3. I’ve lost everything because of this man; my home, life savings, three jobs, almost all of my belongings have either been broken, damaged, lost or sold. I literally have nothing left. Two days before my birthday and less than one month away from our third year anniversary I found out about a recent affair. Of course he started with the lies, manipulations and gaslighting. I told him I didn’t want to hear it and he told me to go F*&^ myself. I left him during one of his famous silent treatments and cold shoulder act. that’s what he does when he’s caught. There is so much here that I can relate to and share more but I don’t want to take up too much space and time with this one post.
    I’m glad to have the opportunity to write about this and share with others. thank you all!

    • You say you are left with nothing, but in reality you are left with the most precious of treasures – YOU. The REAL you is what is left when everything else is taken away, but no one can take away what you truly are – an eternal soul created by the Ultimate Creator. Wow, so glad you saw the truth when you did. That knowledge empowers you to live the life you are meant to live. God bless.

      • you’re right! When thinking about everything he’s taken from me, he hasn’t taken ME! only pieces that can be mended. thank you!

      • Yea for you!

      • Great reply…💗

      • Thanks! And so true.

  26. I had an experience with not one but two sociopaths. One would constantly create fights and tensions and then stand back see them explode and then say how she only wanted everyone to get on!! It took some time to see thru her as she could seem so warm, but anytime she was challenged she would start a fight (usually in front of someone) and make me feel like I had been so wrong. The other was her friend who she would tell how I said this and done that to her. The friend being only too ready to have a victim would bully me at all opportunities and still has not tired of doing so 12 years on. She has attacked me damaged my car and told ppl outrageous lies about me to curry favour. Both are pathological liars and seem to believe their fantasy fakery. They have done everything they can do try to remove me from social circles. They really got to me and I got so depressed. Both have instigated so much hatred and nastiness then turn it around as if it has been done to them. These are everyday ppl and I have to hope that they will be seen for what they are one day but so far they are still manipulating and ppl are falling for their fantasy lies… I suppose we have been bought up with too many fairy stories and like the idea of goodies and badies, for now I am the badie.
    They really crushed me and my spirit and I am still finding it tough to come back from, but I will as I cannot allow them to destroy me.

    • You are not their lies and manipulations! You are not impotent. You are not crushed. You are not a victim. ONLY IF YOU ALLOW IT! You are a child of God with access to all of The Creator’s wisdom, joy and power. Why have you not broken from these two people and created a life without them?

      Love yourself! Loving yourself means doing what is right for you. Be the strong Divine-Guided person you are. If God is for you, then who can be against you? Take courage and make a life change. You can do it. The power of the Universe is within you. Use it for you. Let me know how you are doing.

  27. […] How to spot a sociopath, from the website “Profile of the Sociopath.” […]

  28. Anyone inferring that our president is a sociopath would be engaging in propaganda and, thus, would most probably be the true sociopath. I can only wonder how distorted your mind must be to think Barack Obama has a malignant personality. Are you just a raciest or are you also one of those low I.Q. conservatives.

  29. Its been 4 days since I cut off contact with a man I really believe is a sociopath. I met him on a Christian dating website. When we started talking, it began as a bible study, except he said he was the only one who could accurately interpret the bible. He bullied me to stop going to my church and convinced me that if I wanted eternal life, I must be completely submissive to him. He said he was a prophet. I went along with this for a few weeks because aside from this craziness, I was very attracted to him. He was also very convincing with his conspiracies. But once I told him I missed going to my church and that I was going back, he lost it. He became very disrespectful and condescending. He told me bad things were going to start happening to me because I went against him after he had told me the ‘truth’. Around this same time, my 94 year old grandmother had a stroke and passed away. On the day of the wake, this man calls me to tell me that she died because I had gone against the Holy Spirit in Him. It was at that point that I decided I couldn’t keep this up anymore. I disconnected my phone and cut off all communication with him. Luckily he lives in a different state so I don’t have to see him. Writing this now I realize how insane all this sounds, and for the life of me, I have no idea why I gave him so much of my time or attention.

    • Dear akitagirl78: First and foremost, the man in your comment is not and never has been a speaker for the Holy Spirit – in fact he is the opposite. Do you know how I know? Because the Holy Spirit is of God, our Source, and God is LOVE. UNCONDITIONAL AND NON-JUDGMENTAL LOVE. Not control and hatred and threats. These people use guilt to control others, claiming they speak for God. But all we have to do is listen to their words and see their actions. If they are loving, patient, kind, compassionate, and full of joy, then they are representing the Truth of God. If not, then they are lying, so move on. Sadly, he is the one who lives with all of that hatred and bitterness inside of him, with no break, unlike the rest of us who can walk away and live joyous lives. Be your fabulous Self.

      God bless you.

  30. First, I commend you for this blog. Reading others’ comments, I am astounded at the absolute evilness of NSPs…to willfully and viciously target, manipulate, use, abuse and discard others without a conscience…it truly boggles my mind. I have experienced this twice back-to-back, one female and one male. In a nutshell, both of these soulless monsters tried their damnedest to destroy my life. In the case of the male, here purposefully targeted me because of the female’s inside info. about me. I am a person who gives my all to those I love and care about and these monsters abused my kindness. I did not realize the depth of depravity of these monsters until it was almost too late. Although the female and I attend the same church, I have no communication nor contact with either. In the case with the male, I have maintained a vigilant watch since I know he is hell bent in destroying my life. I am beginning the long journey of recovery from these two monsters but I am determined to see my healing.

    • You are a brave soul and I admire you that you see the Truth of who you are and of those around you. You are valuable, and this experience will allow you to help others facing the same situation. I am stunned by how many there are. I can’t help but wonder why??

      What would be worse would to be one of the ones doling out such misery, because all of that misery has to first reside within them before they can unleash it on others. They live with this personality defect 24/7, while you can walk away and be the magnificent person you already are. What a hell for them.

      God bless you.

  31. I happen to be in a dilemma. Even though I have blocked my n sister on facebook after sending her a message about how I feel of her selfishness (which I think she never got to read, so she is clueless), she has gone through her husband’s facebook and contacted me. I have not replied, but I am afraid she will find a way to get through to me. I don’t want confrontation b/c she always gets angry and becomes extremely mean and hateful, but if I tell her why I don’t want a relationship with her that is how she will behave. I have never told her how she has made me feel other than maybe mentioning she was mean to me growing up. It has been a lot more than that and has continued through adulthood. She has also used everyone than has been close to her in the family, and whom have allowed it until they finally saw her for who she really is. She stole from my aunt’s checking account while my aunt was hospitilized, and eventually moved to hospice and assisted living. By the time my aunt found out, it was a total of $5,000 AND she also used my aunt’s identity to purchase a cell phone and c.p. plan after she had told her she wasn’t going to help her get one. My sister is very self-centered and abusive but lives in this fantasy world of hers that she is a good person and does no wrong. She lies so much, I think she actually believes her lies. She has trashed me behind my back to other people when I don’t give her what she wants, but I have been very generous to her at times. There comes a time when you can only give someone help, but should have the ability to say no because you can’t keep giving especially when you are giving to someone who has mistreated you most of your life. I have never met anyone else who is the older sibling and thinks their younger sister is supposed to help them out. I am the younger sibling and I feel it is not my place to take care of her, but being kind or generous at one time or another is fine. This all boils down to her contacting me over a year ago to send her money or help b/c her apt. burned and she lost everything. She moved out of state and found a good job from what I hear, so she is doing ok. I refused to send her any money, but I am not going to become a victim anymore. Like I said, there comes a time when you have to protect yourself. How long can this continue to go on? And how do I let her know it needs to stop?

  32. Sadly, this is my mother! To a T! I cut her out of my life years ago and slowly, over time, let her back in at arms length because we have such a big family and I didn’t want her drama to ruin things that didn’t have anything to do with her. Well, that blew up last weekend. She went out of her way to send me a text message attacking me, out of nowhere!! I ignored the drama and let it go, but she just kept going. So I snapped…kind of. I told her she was insane and needed mental help and that this is why I don’t let her in my life and then promptly deleted her from my life and told her to never contact me again. I am a grown woman with nearly grown children who also don’t have a relationship with her much above cordial and very occasional interactions. Part of me would like nothing more than to print out what she sent me and mail it to every member of the family. But the other part of me says…it will do no good because she will just find a way to keep playing the victim. Ugh! Even at almost 40 years old, that lunatic finds a way to get in. No more!! Im done!!
    I wonder if I can just call Adult Protection services and have her deemed a threat to herself and have her locked away! Oh how I wish! I would be doing the world a HUGE favor!!!

  33. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Looking through this post reminds me
    of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this.
    I will forward this information to him. Fairly certain he will have a great read.
    Thank you for sharing!

    • Sounds like you are thriving from the experience. We all learn lessons from such personalities, such as becoming stronger people, staying positive and loving ourselves, valuing how wonderful we are as creations from a Higher Power, knowing when to decide you’ve learned all you want from that experience and walking away. Thank YOU for sharing! God bless.


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