Profile of a Narcissistic Sociopath – Charming, Manipulative, Grandiose, Lying, Authoritarian, Secretive, Divisive…
Profile of the Narcissistic Sociopath
Think you can spot a sociopath/psychopath? Think again.
According to experts, this behavior affects 3% to 5% of the population, which could mean more than 15 million people in the USA with these characteristics, or up to 1 in 20 people – higher percentages than one might realize. The people affected are millions more. Are you one of them?
In general, psychopaths come from all walks of life. They’re our friends, lovers, co-workers and leaders. They’re outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Knowing the profile characteristics might help you to avoid being scammed or hurt by someone you trust. Or, you might already be in a situation and are confused by the others behavior. Be aware of the characteristics. Be smart.
What is a narcissistic sociopath?
- A narcissistic sociopath is someone with a combination of narcissistic personality disorder and definitive behavioral signs of sociopathy.
- People with narcissism are characterized by their excessive and persistent need for others’ admiration and positive reinforcement. They generally have grandiose opinions of themselves and believe they are superior to other people. Narcissists are also frequently convinced that they are above the normal responsibilities and obligations of everyday life, so they usually have significant difficulties maintaining employment or relationships as a result.
- The narcissistic sociopath has this type of personality along with a noticeable lack of regard for the rights of others and a tendency to regularly violate those rights.
One noted difference between a narcissistic sociopath and people with narcissism alone is that:
- The narcissist with the sociopathy reacts strongly and sometimes even violently to negative feedback. True sociopaths generally do not respond to criticism or care what others may think of them.
- A narcissistic sociopath is unable to tolerate criticism and needs constant praise, as well as deference from other people. Many with this condition present themselves in the best light possible and are able to easily charm others to gain their trust.
THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY: These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable. To recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind:
(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.
(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.
(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else’s fault.
(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.
(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.
For more and for update from http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Profile of the Sociopath
This information is copied from the website http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
- Glibness and Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Cunning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
- Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”
- May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
- Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
- Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
- A Sociopath is always “pitting” people against each other. My Sociopath
- Smear Campaign: A Sociopath will always be smearing someone and inciting people against each other. Sociopaths do not want people to like or get along with each other and will try to “divide and conquer.” They will say odd things to people in the social group: “She doesn’t like you” or “She doesn’t want me doing anything with you.” My Sociopath
- Sociopath has a strange network of Support People ranging from “consultants,” to skilled-workers, to enabling co-dependents that back him up when he wants to go after his Target. Most of the Support People have their own Psychological problems. My Sociopath.
- No conscience. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt.
- Believe they are all-powerful all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
- The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
- Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
- Incapable of real human attachment to another
- Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
- Drama King: There is always conflict going on in a Sociopath’s life and it involves a “bad person,” “bad business” or “bad transaction.” My Sociopath.
- Callousness/Lack of Empathy
For complete list: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Inside the Mind of a Sociopath:
Excerpt from: “The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless vs. the Rest of Us” by Martha Stout Ph.D.
“Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern of the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken. And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools. Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless. You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodlessness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.”
…or – maybe, best of all – (you) create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves. And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way. Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable. This is not only good fun; it is existential vengeance. And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do.”
“Provided you are not forcibly stopped, you can do anything at all. If you are born at the right time, with some access to family fortune, and you have a special talent for whipping up other people’s hatred and sense of deprivation, you can arrange to kill large numbers of unsuspecting people. With enough money, you can accomplish this from far away, and you can sit back safely and watch in satisfaction. In fact, terrorism (done from a distance) is the ideal occupation for a person who is possessed of blood lust and no conscience, because if you do it just right, you may be able to make a whole nation jump. And if that is not power, what is?”
Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate)
There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change themselves, which is a prerequisite.
Over time, she says, “their appearance of perfection will begin to crack,” but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed.
Taken in part from MW — By Caroline Konrad — September 1999
This entry was posted in Personality Profiles and tagged Authoritarian, Blame others, Charming, Con, Control, Cunning, Divisive, Grandiose sense of self, Lying, Manipulative, Narcissistic, Personality Disorder, Rule the world, Secretive.
402 thoughts on “Profile of a Narcissistic Sociopath – Charming, Manipulative, Grandiose, Lying, Authoritarian, Secretive, Divisive…”
February 13, 2018 at 10:30 pm
My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different page and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to going over your web page yet again.|
April 18, 2018 at 4:57 am
I am a child of one of these monsters., she totally destroyed my life it has taken me many years to establish exactly what she is sad as it is it is a fact and it’s 71 she is still trying her best to drag me down to the ground as she has done too many other people her whole life
April 18, 2018 at 11:03 am
Bless you. You’ve experienced a challenging life. When the one who is supposed to protect you betrays that trust, it is confusing and hurtful. Your mother will only change if she chooses to do so, and most that are cursed with
this personality trait stay where they are because they don’t know how to change. They have to want to change.
Now, about you. I’m proud of you for surviving as you have. The only one over which you have control is YOU. How do you feel about yourself? Do you practice self-love where you love yourself without judgment, without guilt, and with compassion? That is how you are loved by the Divine. That is how you are to love yourself, so that you can love others as you love yourself. You are stronger because of your childhood. You can walk away to experience the life you prefer, while your mother is trapped with her personality 24/7.
How is your life? Are you living the life you want? Do you feel joy, and bliss? Are you living your dreams? I would love to work with you on your happiness. I also know you are loved. I know, without doubt, that you have the Great Love within you, eager to help co-create your life into your greatest desires. Go inside yourself. Ask for guidance. One of the most powerful prayers is “Help me!” Then trust the answers you receive.
There is a book that has information on how to better understand that Divine communication that is available for you without ceasing. Divine Messages from Jesus for a magnificent life, by Carolyne Cathey. https://carolynecathey.com/divine-messages-from-jesus/. This book isn’t about being any particular religion, but about the Eternal Truth of what is available to you. There is a chapter on Divine Communication on how you can tell the difference about your answers, whether ego or spiritual, and which to trust.
Thank you for your post. I care. Let me know how you are doing.
July 26, 2019 at 6:22 am
I dated this woman for 3 years and was a broken man after she discarded me. Through therapy and classes and reading I’m finally healing. These are monsters, parasites intent on destroying every person they know for their own pleasure and to fill their supply. I pray for anyone that has been abused by these parasites and anyone involved now. Get out while you can. God bless.
July 27, 2019 at 2:25 am
Chris, thank you for sharing. I’m so very sorry you went through that. Congratulations on walking away and starting over. That is not easy to do. Good for you. One good outcome is that now you can help others, like you did here with your comment.
God bless you, too.
May 22, 2018 at 10:14 pm
I was raised by a narcissistic mother who was more than just a narcissist. I’ve become aware and am trying to over come. Unfortunately I didn’t become aware until I raised kids around narcissistic sociopaths so my son treats me the same way. I just split with my ex husband who is also a narcissistic sociopath. He’s how I found out what my mother was and why it’s so hurtful to live with my son. I’m left with legal charges from the split from the ex because he accused me of doing the things he’s always done to me, which I didn’t. He got physical but told the police it was me. Like every time, he’s kept things and left things so there’s a reason for future contact. I know that he’s toxic and that I can’t go back when this is all done. Unfortunately he’s so good at the game that I’m scared I won’t be able to ignore any attempts to contact me. I spent today out of work, which I can’t stand, and at the hospital. I have to see a surgeon in the morning and I pick up my new truck the day after. I cried because I couldn’t tell him and he wasn’t there with me…not that he ever was. I’m trying to rebuild again. I think that’s the way to move on and forward. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about him and pretending that this was ever anything more than him finding use in me.
May 23, 2018 at 11:02 am
Bless your hurting heart that is on its way to healing. I know this for you, without doubt – YOU ARE LOVED! YOU HAVE A DIVINE POWER WITHIN YOU that, with your permission, will co-partner with you and guide you in the perfect solutions for you and your life.
How old is your son? The younger he is, the better chance you have for successfully opening his heart and mind to a better way – a better life.
You CAN rebuild again – in fact, you already are rebuilding. The power within you is wiser and more powerful than anything outside of you. You are a light being, created from love. Anytime we veer from that truth, we cause ourselves problems.
You can love your husband and son and mother and still know the truth about them. You can love them anyway – unconditional love – as we are loved by God. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean you are a doormat and that you allow them to control you and your life – that is not love or loving – that is enabling bad behavior. You never give away your power to choose what is right for you (actually, giving away your power to someone else is also a choice).
Know this: There is one God, one Source, one Pure Wisdom, one Unlimited Supplier that supplies ALL of your needs, not a human. That means you turn to God for ALL things. And, once you ‘get’ Oneness, everything else falls in place. What that means is knowing and living the truth that your source is your Creator. Knowing that truth, and embodying it to the depth of your being, empowers you and lifts you right out of feeling victimized and powerless. You only remain a victim if you allow it.
You are created by and from your Creator with God-ingredients, which means you are magnificent! You are now feeling that truth stirring within you, speaking to you, urging you to have faith, and to trust in your Divine Guide. This inner urging is inspiring you to live YOUR life as intended, to make it the best it can be for YOU. You are not to make these changes alone. You are to ask for Divine help, truly listen, and act on the messages and guidance you receive. I believe you are already doing that, and the more you live this truth, the stronger you become.
Once you start living from and within this empowered guidance, you’ll discover that you are an ever-strengthening example of how to live. Every time you allow others to make your decisions for you, you are, in fact, enabling them, disempowering yourself, and verifying for them that their choices are the right ones, which means they never even consider changing into a better direction.
I’m not saying the path will be without conflict at first, but the more determined you are to do what is right and self-loving for you, the easier it becomes.
Self-love is crucial. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others in a healthy, healing way? Self-love is NOT narcissism. Narcissists are really filled with fear and feelings of inadequacy and try too hard to show how wonderful they are by their false behavior. They get their strength by taking it from others.
So, how do you do this?
1) Prayer: Ask for Divine help. It is there for you 24/7, without fail – continuously. There is a great book on how to know when the answers you receive are real/spiritual, or false/ego. “Divine Messages from Jesus” by Carolyne Cathey. https://carolynecathey.com/divine-messages-from-jesus/. Basically, the Spiritual answers are love-based, encouraging you to grow and expand into an ever-greater life. False/ego answers are fear-based, telling you that the answers are only your imagination, etc. They are restricting answers, discouraging you from take the right actions to improve your life.
2) Seek out a support group for those who are abused; you might receive an insight from others who have suffered the same experiences. If you can’t find one locally, then go online. You might also check out your local churches. If there is a Center for Spiritual Living in your area, set up an appointment to visit with their Spiritual Coaches. Their mission is to help you realign with your own Inner Truth where your power and answers exist.
Remember, you are not alone. God is with you, and so am I.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
May 23, 2018 at 11:08 am
One other comment: Your mother, husband, son, know how to trigger you – what to say, do, threaten, how to demean, in their attempt to control you. You will know when you are taking back your power in that you no longer react to their triggers. They will keep trying to trigger. Stand strong in your truth.
May 23, 2018 at 7:07 pm
This is so true . Show no reactions . Look up gray rock . My situation had degraded so badly that my son at 15 years old was grabbing my wrists while his sociopathic father watched and said nothing , he wanted my own son to hurt me. I have since divorced and helped this son move out on his own , he doesn’t respect me because his father taught him this. Shawna you can do this . I was literally on my knees but I got out . Like the comment above says they will keep trying to trigger you and you end up looking like the crazy one that nobody believes . Take care!
May 23, 2018 at 8:17 pm
I’m proud of you for what you’ve accomplished! Thank you for sharing about Gray Rock. I’m putting a link to the site on the home page.
September 3, 2018 at 9:52 am
HELP!!! I’m married to a sociopathic narcissistic; I’ve been trying to get away from him for a few years. I’ve made up my mind in the past and been convinced to believe in him again, I’ve already gone through the yo-yo game of “You’re a stupid c*#!, I hate you. Everybody knows what BS I put up with. Nobody likes you, even your family knows what a selfish b%~*! You are. The only reason I’m still here is it’s cheaper to keep her…you cant get a job nobody will hire you, you are a looser!! Even your own kid knows the truth, your best friend won’t tell you the truth because she’s afraid to upset you. It’s all about you & what your not getting! Your a poster child of a dead father & a drunk mother….” to “I love you; I’m here & I never said things like that until after you started with me, I threw it at you cuz you spit on me. I broke the door frame cuz you are gonna go through/steal my stuff. When something bothers you I change it, im the exact same person I was when we met, you changed. You are the one who’s running off, I’m doing what I’m supposed to, I know the difference between right and wrong; just ask anyone! I love you, I haven’t left”. I’ve done so much research & I know he’s got serious issues, it’s finally gotten to the point that I can’t stand him he makes me sick, I don’t feel like I have to stay cuz I feel sorry for him; I no longer care what happens when I leave (he’s threatened to make my daughter & I homeless if I leave him)
I know it won’t be easy but it’ll be okay & even better yet I now realize that no matter how tough it is, it’ll be better than the abusive conditions I’ve been living under. There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how distant or dim it’s there because I can’t be convinced anymore & I know I did what I could. I know it’s not my fault; I realize that my daughter is hurt more by what’s going on than she would be by not living with her dad.
My mother died and I have no other family…. he’s alienated me from any friends I was close to except one & he controls every penny if I want a cup of coffee I have to get permission; how do I get away? I can’t get a divorce lawyer, a restraining order, nothing…. I’ve been trapped for a while. I hate to say I feel hopeless but I am. I would do anything for another chance at life but I can’t go to a shelter, I can’t take my daughter out of her school. I have dogs and I’ve already lost everything, I can’t loose them too. I can’t. They’re the only thing that’s helped me get through this besides my little girl.i can’t let them down, I feel crippled, depressed and desperate. How do I get him out of here? How do I get a chance to start over??
September 3, 2018 at 1:08 pm
Congratulations! You’ve finally realized that your job is to take care of you, that you matter, that you must get out of a toxic situation before it permanently poisons you and your child. You are right – she is learning from you right now. You are her example on how to solve this crisis if it should every happen to her. You are giving her strength. You are showing her that no one is to treat you, or her, with less than respect EVER because you, and she, won’t allow it. You are showing her the crucial importance of self love, because without self-love, you will never live the wonderful life you are meant to experience.
If you have read Jess’s suggestions, he will tell you to walk away and no contact ever ever. They will lie, beg, make you feel guilty, that they have changed. Wrong. Know that they are only manipulating you. They don’t feel anything except disgust, including for themselves. They only want to control and they will do or say anything to accomplish their goal.
You say you want to change the situation. I hear a lot of “cant’s” in your comment. You can’t go to a shelter. You can’t take her out of school. You can’t, can’t, can’t… Yes you can. See below: here are solutions and options for everyone of your supposed can’ts that will shift them to ‘Yes, I can!’. Open your mind to your opportunities. If going to a shelter gets you a start, then do it. If taking your child out of school will make a better life for her in the long-term, then do it. She is surely miserable, too, AND what is she learning? Which would make her more miserable by the time she is an adult, changing schools/towns if necessary so that she can have a good life and make new friends? Or remaining in a life/personality damaging situation?
Stay strong. You are already on your way to freedom and a better life for you and your child. Don’t get discouraged. Keep trying. Be smart. You are not alone, either spiritually or in your community. There are people there trained to help you for exactly the situation you are facing. Read below on the many ways they can help you. I am also here for you. I care, and I feel very strongly that if you keep your focus and determination, you will triumph.
So, what are your options? Here are some suggestions: (REMEMBER TO TAKE ‘CAN’T’ OUT OF YOUR VOCABULARY! FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO!)
* FIRST, and always, PRAY. Ask for help. You have a spiritual team (God, Jesus or Spiritual Mentor of your choosing, Angels, etc.,) just waiting for you to ask them for help. Listen to your Inner Guidance. You have the Power of the Universe inside of you, a power stronger than your husband, or your situation, or anything that is outside of you. You are not to do this alone. ALWAYS work with your Spiritual Team for everything. That is the source for your perfect guidance and answers. Then learn to listen to the answers. They usually come so quickly that you doubt you heard them, or that you are making it up, or it is in your own mind… In time, you will learn to trust those answers and act on them. Ask for help in that, too. Ask for clarity. Sometimes your answers will come to you in many different ways, so be aware.
* Second, links to potentially helpful information:
NOTE: The shelters should also be able to refer you to other services for abused and battered women in your community, including:
Services for your children
(your child might or might not be being sexually abused, but she is being emotionally abused. It is still abuse. Only you can help your child right now. Be strong and do what is right for you and your daughter. This isn’t just your life we’re talking about. It is also her future, and the future of her children, and ongoing..
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/
I don’t know where you live, but their is surely a church you can go to for help, who can guide you to resources for you. Make sure you get someone who is understanding of abuse situations. It depends on the church and the individual. Do not allow anyone to convince you to stay with him.
God bless you.
November 7, 2018 at 4:43 pm
GOD HELP ME I MARRIED ONE AND AM VERY AFRAID OF HIM,,,THANK YOU FOR THIS INFORMATION.
November 7, 2018 at 5:25 pm
Your priority is to take care of yourself and get into a safe situation. First, pray for help! The Divine is your inner power source that has all of the answers. Listen to the answers you receive, or remain open to guidance which comes to you in many forms. You were guided to this site. Trust that guidance. Be smart about this. Stay strong. You are already on your way to freedom and a better life. Don’t get discouraged. Keep trying. You are not alone, either spiritually or in your community. There are people there trained to help you for exactly the situation you are facing. Read below on the many ways they can help you. I am also here for you. I care, and I feel very strongly that if you keep your focus and determination, you will triumph.
So, what are your options? Here are some suggestions: (REMEMBER TO TAKE ‘CAN’T’ OUT OF YOUR VOCABULARY! FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO!)
*I repeat, FIRST, and always, PRAY. Ask for help. You have a spiritual team (God, Jesus or Spiritual Mentor of your choosing, Angels, etc.,) just waiting for you to ask them for help. Listen to your Inner Guidance. You have the Power of the Universe inside of you, a power stronger than your husband, or your situation, or anything that is outside of you. You are not to do this alone. ALWAYS work with your Spiritual Team for everything. That is the source for your perfect guidance and answers. Then learn to listen to the answers. They usually come so quickly that you doubt you heard them, or that you are making it up, or it is in your own mind… In time, you will learn to trust those answers and act on them. Ask for help in that, too. Ask for clarity. Sometimes your answers will come to you in many different ways, so be aware.
* Second, links to potentially helpful information:
DOMESTIC ABUSE SHELTERS: https://www.domesticshelters.org/
NOTE: The shelters should also be able to refer you to other services for abused and battered women in your community, including:
* Legal help,
* Support groups
* Employment programs
* Health-related services
* Educational opportunities
* Financial assistance
THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE: https://www.thehotline.org/
CHURCHES: I don’t know where you live, but there is surely a church you can go to for help, who can guide you to resources for you. Make sure you get someone who is understanding of abuse situations. It depends on the church and the individual. Do not allow anyone to convince you to stay with him.
TAKE CARE OF YOU! YOU COUNT. YOU MATTER. At some point you might be able to help someone in a similar situation.
God bless you. Let me know how you are doing. I care!
November 13, 2018 at 2:35 pm
I feel I am married to one he pulls me down behind peoples backs calls me vicious nasty names yet tells people I am making him ill. I do 18 hr days with him.but in his eyes I’m lazy. I’m not allowed my own money bank account etc. He tells me he hates me and wants me to leave so I do and after 3 months he says I’m sorry I love you ill change so i go back and people say “how could you leave him that’s awful. I say he told me to go. I have left yet again with no money am staying with family yet again he has contacted my daughter saying please tell your mother to come home. I don’t know what to do he says his family hates me
June 4, 2019 at 7:52 pm
I am married to a man that fits the definition in every single way. I truly wish he could be tested or observed by professionals. I am trapped with him. He is winning at tearing me down and cutting me off from everyone and everything. Any advice is much needed. I have children that I won’t leave behind and he’s cut me off from every friend and family member, even moved us 3 hours away from the only place we knew. He’s absolutely ruthless.
June 4, 2019 at 9:30 pm
Letting you know that we will work on this together. Know this, you are loved by God, and that is a more powerful force than anything else, including your husband. Stay strong. Let me think on this and get back to you. You are not alone.
June 4, 2019 at 9:34 pm
Until I get back to you within the next several hours, look at this link. There are resources there specifically set up to help you and your children. If you feel urged to follow up on any or all of them, do so, but be careful. In fact, you should probably get a username that isn’t your own name.
June 4, 2019 at 10:25 pm
I will look into these resources. Thank you so much for helping.
June 5, 2019 at 6:05 pm
I hope you found good, helpful information on the links I sent to you.
I don’t know your religious or spiritual beliefs, but I do know this for you – you are loved, unconditionally and without judgment. I know, without doubt, that you have access to Divine Wisdom 24/7, without fail. You are never alone. Use that Inner Power to help you and your children and to start your life over again. Staying with your husband will only get worse, and will leave emotional scars on your children as well as on yourself. They are witnessing the way they think families supposedly work, but you know better.
Questions to ask yourself: Does he have access to your computer? Your phone? Do you have a way to continue this conversation and to get help without his knowing? Is there a nearby library that has a computer? I don’t want to make you feel paranoid, but I want you to be very careful. You might even need to be careful what you do or say around the children if they might, unawares, tell him what you are doing.
You said: “I am trapped with him.” Did any of your resource-link contacts give you suggestions on this? Do you know a minister at a nearby church you can trust? Is there an abuse center in your location? Do not let any minister or anyone tell you that the bible says you are to stay with your husband no matter what. That is not the truth. As I said, I don’t know your spiritual beliefs, but personally I am very close to Jesus and I know Jesus wants what is best for you and your children. He wants you to have a blessed life. To allow your husband to continue with his damaging control is not good for you, the children, or even to him. If Jesus isn’t one of your spiritual mentors, there will be another, no matter your faith. Turn inward and ask for help. The most powerful prayer is “Help me”
You said: “He is winning at tearing me down and cutting me off from everyone and everything.” Yes, that is one of their control devices – to separate you from others and to make you doubt yourself. I don’t know your relationship with your parents, or if you have any siblings or friends, but I think you’d be surprised to know they care deeply for you and are more aware of what you are going through than you realize. Sometimes you merely have to reach out, but only to those whom you trust not to communicate that back to your husband.
Listen to your Inner Guide, Jennifer. You have a spiritual team eager and willing to help you. YOU ARE STRONG! You can do this.
Keep in touch with me. I care and want to help you.
I love you. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. Forgive me for not giving you an instant solution. Thank you for being who you are; you are a blessing to the world.
June 4, 2019 at 9:35 pm
Also letting you know that I am praying for you. You do the same.
December 10, 2019 at 4:26 pm
Narcissist with malignant tendencies…..no one believed me 24 years ago. I survived but take 1 day at a time to try to enjoy life now. Makes it very difficult to trust ANYBODY at all. I know life isnt perfect but I take my time to try to smile and smell the flowers along the way now🌻
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December 10, 2019 at 5:02 pm
I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. But you can celebrate that you are stronger, and that God is using your experience to help others. One of these days you’ll be able to completely release the anger that is still roiling around inside you, although it is much less than at first. When you can, with Divine help, finally cleanse yourself of any hatred, you will know true freedom. Forgiveness is for you, to break the chains imprisoning you to the past cruelties.
I’m so proud of you! Good job.
January 10, 2020 at 4:18 pm
Perfectly explained and written. I’m happy you found my blog because I’m excited to follow yours !!
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January 10, 2020 at 6:26 pm
Thank you! I love that we’re working together in a vital cause.