Coping with a Narcissistic Sociopath (NS)

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Purpose of Page: SUPPORT

From JESS,

Transformed from an NS

Dealing with someone who is an NS is extremely difficult. They will be unwilling to change and most likely see nothing wrong with their behavior. If pushed some may become physically violent, but all of them will start a mental attack. They will mentally attack your physical attributes, mental prowess and anything they saw as a flaw in you. Which they have made you believe that you have, which i assure you that you don’t, its just something they have convinced you of. The suggestion that i give is to get away and stay away once you have classified them as an NS. Yes, i have changed from a NS, it was very difficult and it took me almost a year to even begin to make progress.

For the first 6 months i was fighting an uphill battle with my own head, the 1 thing that I kept thinking was “How can anyone be ok with doing the things I’ve done to countless people”. I was an NS for as long as i can remember, 20-25 years at least. So convincing my self that something was wrong was the hardest thing i have ever gone through. Yes, they can change, but there is pretty much nothing you can do but hope they see their own behaviors and then the desire to be a better person and change it. There is 1 thing that all NS have in common, they are extremely determined and when they set their mind to something, they will accomplish it. So the blocks are there for a change, but they need to be the one to decide to make it.

From TRUTH:

The purpose for this page is to provide a venue for you to discuss options how to personally cope when in relationships with a narcissist/sociopath.  What options might you have?  What support groups are available?  This page is for those with questions about their own situations to see how others cope with challenging personalities, and examples of what worked or didn’t work for them.  Please remember, only you can make the final choice as to what is best and most healing for you.

Read through the resources on this site; there is much good information. Read Jess’s Transformation page.  It reveals how at least one NS thought and acted, and the motivation behind that destructive behavior; you’ll also read about Jess’s transformation from a Narcissistic Sociopath to a productive life, showing that yes, change is possible.  I’ll add, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD.

Ask questions by posting your issues here.  There is a better way for you – a way to a happier life.  RECLAIM YOUR POWER!


15 thoughts on “Coping with a Narcissistic Sociopath (NS)

    Coping with a N/S « TRUTH said:
    December 5, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    […] Coping with a N/S […]

    Franklin haun said:
    January 23, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    Stay away from them if that is possible . There is no cure!!!!!!

      truthlover5 responded:
      January 23, 2016 at 1:16 pm

      You are mostly right about there being no cure, but if you read Jess’s Transformation page you will see there is at least one who was able to change their personality. It took extreme determination and will to do so, and from my viewpoint, Divine Intervention.

      That said, you are right that removing yourself from that toxic situation is highly recommended. You can only control what happens to you, not the one with the personality trait. Do not think that you can ‘fix’ anyone, or get them to change. You can only focus on yourself, love yourself, and turn yourself over to the Higher Power that knows what brings you joy and happiness.

      This is especially true if there are children involved. Break the pattern. Choose a better life.

        Rini said:
        December 21, 2016 at 11:08 pm

        I am at the beginning of a divorce from a raging narcissist. I believe now that he is sociopath as well. This site helped me to read up on traits that he clearly expresses. I am leaving because I want to show our 7 yr old daughter that this is not a healthy relationship. I don’t want her to grow up and marry someone like him. I am trying for full custody bc if he has even a Little power, he will abuse it and torture me mentally. Our daughter refuses to be alone with him. She has been scared of him most her life. Any advice

        truthlover5 responded:
        December 24, 2016 at 11:35 am

        So proud of you for loving yourself and your daughter enough to make the choice to do what is right for your and her happiness. You are also correct in that the pattern repeats if a better way isn’t experienced. Self-empowerment is important for both of you. Now is the time.

        The fact that she is frightened of her father and doesn’t want to be alone with him hints of potential abuses of which you might not even be aware. Just a caution. You might want to have a gentle, loving discussion about this at some time while the scars can be more fully healed.

        What is also important for her and you to know is that you are not alone. She is never alone. God and your guardian angels/spiritual mentors are with you always. They are there to guide you, to give you strength, to reveal that you are one with the Power of the Universe, and that power is yours to access every moment. All you have to do is ask, and allow. She needs to know this so that she realizes she isn’t impotent/helpless, that she has the Great Love as her co-partner and co-creator of her life (and yours) – her partner, her best friend forever if she gives permission and allows. Of course, the same is true for you, and for everyone, but at 7 she might not realize that truth for her.

        You are both loved, unconditionally. We are to learn to love ourselves and others as we are loved, without conditions. That doesn’t mean you allow your husband to be abusive toward you – that is an enabling behavior. Loving yourself means you only accept love as God loves. Respect.

        Treat others as you wish to be treated, but say ‘no’ when that treatment isn’t loving.

        Let me know how you and your daughter are doing. I care.

    Coping with an NS « TRUTH said:
    February 13, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    […] Coping with an NS […]

      EB said:
      May 13, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Your reply to Franklin is compassionate however 99.99999….% of narcissists will only see compassion, mercy, or grace as a vulnerability and a means to gain further leverage.

      So 99.99999 % of the time Franklin is absolutely correct.

      “Stay away from them if that is possible . There is no cure!!!!!!” !!!!!
      – Amen.

      If you must, because of children or your heart drives you to continue to grant grace, proceed with extreme caution.

        truthlover5 responded:
        May 13, 2016 at 3:14 pm

        I agree with you about caution. I also agree that, most likely, 99.99% will, out of fear, choose to remain as they are instead of choosing to make that change.

        I do know, without doubt, that if one chooses to change their personality trait in order to have a better life, that change is possible if they want it badly enough.

        As a result, I do believe that “With God all things are possible”. However, because of free will, the person must make the determination to change.
        Please read the Jess Transformation page of how one person, with determination and hard work, make the decision and changed their life.

        If the person you are with chooses not to change, then do not try to ‘fix’ them. Stay away from them. Go on with your life.

        If you have children, then it is imperative to get them into a loving, caring, safe situation. If not, you risk that your children will learn by example and adopt the same traits, which means a horrible life for them, too, with numerous invisible, perhaps lifetime, scars. It is up to you to break the devastating cycle for your children. Many Narcissistic Sociopaths had abusive childhoods. Make sure your children don’t follow the same path.

        Turn everything over to Divine Wisdom and Guidance.

    […] Source: Coping with a Narcissistic Sociopath (NS) […]

    Fiona said:
    December 27, 2016 at 7:14 am

    I have a stepson who is your archetypal sociopath – many years ago this absolute horror tried and almost succeeded in driving me mad – no one believed what he was doing – he had been taking my medication and mixing it in the yogurt drink i had, he was listening in to conversations and reporting how happy he was that his father and i were not getting on, he was saying to his father how he just could not understand why i was not nice to him – this all came to light when a letter he had written to a girlfiend feel out of a notebook – i had been trying to tidy the pigsty he had made out of MY spare bedroom.

    To say it was a relief to know i was not going mad is an understatement – i showed the letter to my doctor and she said the man was a scoiopath… Fast forward a few years and this horror marries the nicest girl i have ever met – i was TERRIFIED for her and rightly so as it turned out. He did much the same with her because he could not get his own way.

    I never ever want to see this man again – i truly believe he has these personality traits/disorders from his beloeved mother who is another abolute horror.

    Thank goodness he is not in my life and never will be – from now on in, I will not tolerate people like him and to an extent his sister anywhere near me Selfih? No, more a case of self preservation.

      truthlover5 responded:
      December 31, 2016 at 12:18 pm

      I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, but glad you know the truth. Did you not show the letter to the father of this son?

      Does the son’s wife know she has a place to go for refuge? To you? Or to a nonprofit that deals with abuse? Because this is abuse, no matter what label we put on it.

      You are right. No contact.

      What is extremely helpful though, is to open up continual contact with God, your Unlimited Supplier of love and abundance and wisdom. Allow a Divine partnership for you. You’ll be amazed and grateful.

      Let me know how you are doing. I care.

      God bless.

    MM said:
    May 7, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    I believe I was in a relationship for the last two years with a NS. I am of the belief that hurt people hurt people, and I struggle between walking away forever and having mercy and compassion. He has admitted to things he’s done, but I don’t know that I can ever trust him. He kept lies and secrets from me since day 1. I feel like I’m stuck in this loop, as my mind is trying to make sense of it (impossible, I know.)

    I believe in God, and I believe that we are all worthy of redemption and love. I feel torn between Mercy and taking care of myself, if that makes sense. I know I need to stay silent and go NC, but all I can say is I am really struggling. He definitely emotionally and verbally abused me (never physical), and would try to make me think I misunderstood or dreamt it up (even if it was right there, in black and white, via text message or email). I believe there have been smear campaigns, but I’m newer to the area and don’t really know too many people in common with him. But the worst part is after all of the long heart-to-heart convos where he confesses and apologizes, says I’m the only one who calls him out on his stuff, trying to analyze himself…he switches tenfold in the other direction. It’s like as soon as I think there is a crack in the false persona, he uses superglue to put it back together, causing a worse level of callousness and disregard than the time before, and he now acts like I never existed. Total silent treatment. I don’t want to feel torn and broken anymore. I’m lost.

    Thank you for listening…I’ve never posted anything before.

      truthlover5 responded:
      May 7, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      Sometimes walking away IS acting with mercy and compassion. Foremost, mercy and compassion for you. But also mercy and compassion for your relationship and for the other person. When we continually allow those caught in the negative and damaging behavior to pull and manipulate our emotional strings, their intent is to use those strings to control us. Allowing such behavior means we are enabling their destructive behavior and actually contributing to and strengthening their conviction that they are right. Not walking away can be merely entrenching their behavior and then they don’t feel they need to change – they get power from using other’s power.

      What is right for you? You cannot ‘fix’ him. Only he can change his behavior, but he must choose to do so. Your responsibility is to take your adventure called life and make it the best life possible for YOU. You do this in partnership with the Divine. Stay in 24/7 Divine communication that is Pure Intelligence that knows what is right and best for you. Trust that Divine guidance. You’ll be amazed at how your life and feelings about yourself start moving in positive directions.

      You are not lost. You’ve become aware of his harmful behavior, realized it isn’t for your best interest, and are now found. You have found that your life and life choices are yours to make, with your Spiritual team that is always there for you. Remember, if the situation isn’t right for you, it isn’t right for anyone.

      Unearth your long-buried dreams. Listen to the urgings of your heart. That is where your passion and destiny are cradled, within your heart. The seeds planted there by the Divine are a roadmap for what brings you the greatest magnificence. You are magnificent. Live the life you are meant to experience – to the fullest. Be the love that you are, at all times. Your being true to you and who you are – God’s love in action – is healing for you and for the world.

      Let me know how you are doing. I care.

    MM said:
    May 7, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    Thank you so much for responding. The timing was perfect, and I definitely needed to hear that. I have been through a lot in my life, but nothing has gripped me and confused me like this experience. I desperately want to move forward beyond the trauma and pain. I want my old self back.

    I will keep praying and commit to moving on as best I can. Again, thank you. Your support and this site helps a ton.

      truthlover5 responded:
      May 7, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      Excellent attitude. Just remember, you are not alone in what you are experiencing. You have the Power of the Universe inside you. Use it!

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